Burn
by Groundswell
Summary: James has won Lily's heart, and a day when Severus is alone outside, James goes to talk to him. Peacefully and not as enemies.


_A/N:_ Hey everyone! This is my one-shot called Burn (after the song from which I got the idea). It's the first time I'm trying something with Severus as main character, so I'm pretty nervous about it. If you've got some advice I'd love to hear. Thanks to Kaitlyn without who this wouldn't have been the same at all!

**Burn**

He looked up as the silent footsteps stopped not far away from him. As his eyes caught the red/golden scarf, brown eyes with glasses and black hair, he was about to get up, wand out, but something told him that James Potter had not come to start a fight. He was alone, and a strange air hung around him. They looked at each other for a long time, none of them doing anything but staring at each other.

As the silence continued, Severus started to wonder what exactly had brought Potter down there, but trying to read his expression didn't help. He was a closed book.

At last, Potter cleared his throat. "Sorry if I'm interrupting something."

Severus looked away. "What would you be interrupting?" he snarled.

Potter blinked. "Dunno," he muttered and shrugged. "You never know…"

A couple of seconds passed in which the wind could be heard before Severus had had enough. "So what do you want, Potter?"

He moved restlessly. "I umm…" He trailed off, clearly uncomfortable by the whole situation.

"Just spit it out. I don't have all day." Severus gazed back at him.

Potter took a deep breath and then looked up, meeting his eyes. "I know you love her."

The silence that followed his words even drowned the sound of the wind. Severus slowly licked his lips, then anger slowly bubbled to the surface.

"Oh you do, do you?" he spat. "Well, congratulations. Now that you know, you can go ahead and do what you do best. Gloat."

Potter seemed anxious. He switched his weight to his other foot and studied Severus a bit more. "No," he muttered at last. "That's actually not what I wanted to do."

That sounded so ridiculous that Severus almost laughed, but he restrained himself, eyes on the Gryffindor. "No?"

Potter sighed, looking over to the lake and then back at Severus again, "I really did not come here to brag or gloat as you might think."

Severus frowned. "Then why did you come?"

He sighed again and their eyes met. "To tell you that I'll take good care of her."

It took Severus off guard. He nearly dropped his jaw, but stopped at the last second. It was a stupid thing to lose his coolness now. He looked up at Potter through his hair. He seemed honest. Solemn. This was so wrong. Two enemies standing only a meter away without their wands out and talking peacefully to each other.

"I know you will," he said at last, and it annoyed him that it was true.

Potter smiled weakly. "I know you think I don't deserve her, but I'll do all that's in my power to make her happy."

"I know." He sighed. "So, are you trying to make some truce here?"

He laughed. It was a bitter and humorless laugh. "No chance in hell. You wouldn't do that either."

Severus snarled soundlessly. "No, I wouldn't."

Both of them were silent for some time. The wind seemed to catch on, and ripples and white foam could be seen on the lake. Severus sighed.

"So, are you going to tell me now what I did wrong?"

Potter slowly leaned against the tree. "No." He shook his head. "I think you already know."

True. His other friends, his path, the word 'Mudblood'. He had messed up hugely, but so slowly he hadn't seen it himself. She had, though, from the very beginning. She'd even warned him, told him she didn't want anything to do with it. But had he listened?

Severus looked away. "I followed my path. She didn't want to come with me."

"And that's where you made your mistake."

"Don't you think I know that?" he hissed. "But not all of us are willing to give up our greatest dreams!"

That silenced him. But only for a while.

"It tore her apart."

Severus closed his eyes.

She had been broken. He had even been able to see that from the distance. And what had she done? Sought comfort on his enemies. Not Potter at once, not the Halfblood Lupin. Better, but still worse. If he had just been able to take it back, make her happy again… Could he just have turned it all around? Then she wouldn't be with him now. Would she have gone to Potter when her parents had been killed? No. She'd have come to him. Cried on his shoulder. He would have been the one to make her smile again. He would have made a friendship appear between them, and she would have started to seem happy again.

When he spoke, he was surprised by how hoarse his own voice had gotten, almost as if snapping over every second. "I know." He sighed. "I would have never imagined she'd go to you."

Potter laughed without humor. "Neither would I. I thought I was fighting a lost battle."

"It truly seemed like it."

"Life surprises us, I guess," he muttered, looking into the sky. "More than we ever expect."

Severus sighed. "And sometimes it does exactly as we expect. Strange it is, really."

Potter looked over at the water. "It's stupid, you know. You had it all where you wanted it, yet you threw it all away."

Severus didn't speak. The roles had changed completely. They were no longer enemies, nor friends, but two people having a simple conversation. Yet the topic was too deep, emotional, some could say. It was unlike him.

Severus shook his head. "That's where we're different."

Potter seemed to catch the unsaid sentence and nodded. "Yet, we're much more alike than we think. You and I."

"True. Yet so different." He shook his head. "It's so wrong."

He laughed bitterly. "So wrong. I guess it was the small things that mattered in the end."

"The small things that became huge." Severus sighed and closed his eyes. The next thing on his mind took some power to be spoken out loud. He took a deep breath. "Does…" He looked away. "Does she miss me, you think?"

Potter looked at him, but eye contact was impossible, since Severus wasn't looking at him. The seconds ticked by. Severus waited anxiously for an answer. And when he looked back at Potter he saw that his eyes were filled with concern and… Slight sadness.

"Yes," he said, honestly. "I think so. But she never says anything about it." He looked away; it was probably easier to say it when not looked at by one's enemy. "Sometimes I can see it in her eyes. But she hides it. She doesn't want me to know, but everyone can see it. She worries about you too, she has never been able to let your friendship go." He looked back. "I don't think that parting did her any good."

It hurt.

"Will she heal?" Severus tried to make his question sound indifferent, yet his voice burned with care.

Potter sighed. "I think so. But no one heals without scars, right?"

The words cut into Severus like sharp blades. He looked away from Potter. He shouldn't have that pleasure to see that he was hurt. That would be letting the guards too much down, letting the roles change too much.

"Don't you ever wonder what would have happened if you'd chosen the other path?" Potter suddenly asked. "What she might have said?"

Severus looked at the lake, his gaze far away. "Yes," he said, then paused. "Every day."

Potter nodded. "Okay…"

Severus turned his gaze down towards the ground. "But as I said, I won't change my path, but I'm not sure that if I got the choice again, I'd do the same… Maybe if I knew where to send her. But what do I know?"

Potter sighed. "Thanks, Severus."

Severus looked at him. "I won't say you're welcome, because you're not."

"I thought so." His voice had a slight hint of humor.

He looked at him. "So how does it feel? To have won?"

Potter shrugged. "I haven't won. Not yet." A very weak smile seemed to play on his lips for a second. "But it… It feels different than I had thought."

"In a good or bad way?"

Why did he even ask? Could he bear to hear?

"There're things from both sides," he admitted, frowning. He looked at the lake now. "But I'll never stop fighting. Not even though I have 'won the battle' so far."

"Could she change her mind?"

Potter bit his lower lip shortly. "I don't know. Maybe. It depends on you…"

Severus nodded. "Yeah, I figured…"

Numerous long silent seconds passed. The wind seemed to catch hold and grew louder now. Severus was aware of every sound and movement around him. Potter looked over the water, obviously musing, he had let his normal role lay too, but it was coming back. He suddenly pushed away from the tree, looking at him.

"I'm sure we can agree that I was never here."

Severus smirked bitterly, "Of course."

Potter nodded before walking away.


End file.
